Not too far ago (I like to think that way, time is relative after all, right?), I finished studying communication and then started to work in the PR division of the Baja California State´s governor, while working I studied Cinema Production, just because I love cinema and because, I hope, my wish to learn is endless, especially about whatever fills my heart and make my mind work. And the one day I remembered how much I loved to be an architect when I was a child, and then I had to come out of the architecture closet, I wanted to start all over again, not an easy scenario when one´s starting to become independent and also starting to give your pampering parents a breath. Well I did, I told my parents that I wanted to be an architect and they were as loving and supportive as a son could hope, till now I´m infinitely grateful with them for supporting my "change" of career.
After a few months I took of to a place I could feel safe, far enough to be free, but close enough to be able to go at least once a month; "two hours by plane at least" I said, that way my mileage club would reward me enough to be a gold member and I would be forced to stay in focus about not just school, but also about living on my own, cleaning up, running errands, doing laundry, buying groceries and keeping my newly embraced "independence" up to date, all this while becoming an architect, meaning, drawing till next morning, developing projects, writing essays, building models and trying to be the best student possible, I would´t let my parents down for nothing in the world.
Today I read an article about the way a TV show influences one´s expectations, and made me think about the time I got to Architecture School for the first time, and when I moved to a different city and then a show in Showtime started, Queer As Folk, the American/Canadian version, the english one I have to confess I found kind of dark and far from my life in San Diego, although by the time, I had been to Canal Street and Manchester´s gay village in several occasions. All friday nights they would play a new episode, I would love to see two of my closest friends, Marco, Raúl and sometimes Juan Carlos, and we would gather for pizza and salad in this really good place not far from my place, listening to great music and just letting ourselves turn twenty and a couple more while having fun, waiting for the midnight show that, according to mod reviews, was fun and witty, as it was kind of porn and disrupting, my kind of show of course, all those thing I was and I want to think I still am: fun, witty, porn and sometimes disrupting.
I guess the show, Queer As Folk, had the same effect in gay guys that Sex And The City had in girls… and gay guys; in a group of friends one would be the projection of a certain show character and so on, just like in SATC, I remember in one of my trips to New York City, my friend Marina told me that there were a legion of four-gals groups all over town, hanging out in restaurants, bars, clubs and stores acting up like Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda, the old clever always-on-Perricone-diet sex addict, the smart undecided I-get´money-from-I-dunno-where shopoholic smoker, the fancy pants insecure prude and the I-secretely-like-to-scissor-other.girls over worked redhead, obviously always trying to keep their personalities… I hope. Well, the same happened with guys, in both cases, there was a Brian for a Samantha, a Ted for a Miranda, a Michael for a Carrie and a Lindsay for a Charlotte, you know well mannered and trying to get a family together before she´s too old; Emmett was another story and I´m for that, he was the cayenne pepper that spiced up the whole thing, or as we would say in spanish "el ajonjolí de todos los moles", meaning, the sesame seed of all the Moles (traditional mexican dish made with chocolate, dried ancho peppers and almonds, among other ingredients), if that makes any sense.
Well, there we were, four guys talking and trying to make sense of being single, only Marco had a committed relationship, the rest of the three were out in the market, feeling happy, but at the same time overwhelmed. I don´t think we were pretending to be ay of the QAF characters, even less the SATC characters, we certainly could have filled all profiles at some points, but in real life real people have more sides than just sex addict, confused, moralist and workaholic, or flamboyant, sometimes we were always all of them separated and in very special disastrous occasions all of them together. And at the end I was doing a friday thing with my friends and watching a show that was about friendship, about guys that likes guys, and girls hat liked girls, and everything around them. Never felt like any of the characters in either show, but loved them both and certainly made me enjoy fiction in TV.
I think TV shows and media in general have a very influential presence in teenagers, well, it did before, now it´s more like video games or manga, or I don´t know what else. But for me life still feels like a TV show, in times a Lifetime Channel tearful drama and some other times like a very funny sitcom. I´m now in the season where I move to Paris and start to have experiences, like stepping in shit every seven feet, tasting Mille Feille, and getting to see the Eiffel Tower and the Sacre Coeur on the daily basis, not so much going to Dior Homme or keep the days wearing the last from the runways, not there yet, I will let you know when I´m vintage YSL and Valentino head to toe.
At the end what comes to mind when thinking about being today where I am and being who I am, is the time when a very close friend was fired from the job he was so safe at, installed completely in the comfort zone being kind of afraid of the unknown, but forced to turnaround his life and surprised by the fact that he had an almost dream job offered afterwards in the place he always wanted, settling a nice pay after the firing and feeling happier and safer today; when all that happened I thought we all always have surprises in store, and either we look for them like easter eggs or are forced to have them smashed in our faces, I felt that everything is like a movie, the movie of life, when you need to shoot a part that feels uncomfortable but that will lead you to prizes and nominations, I remember I felt and still feel intoxicated by happiness of being able to accept what it comes, there are always beginnings and ends, change of setting and wardrobe, like Sunset Boulevard when the main character is lost in her mind and says "I´m ready for my close-up Mr. Demille…".
After a few months I took of to a place I could feel safe, far enough to be free, but close enough to be able to go at least once a month; "two hours by plane at least" I said, that way my mileage club would reward me enough to be a gold member and I would be forced to stay in focus about not just school, but also about living on my own, cleaning up, running errands, doing laundry, buying groceries and keeping my newly embraced "independence" up to date, all this while becoming an architect, meaning, drawing till next morning, developing projects, writing essays, building models and trying to be the best student possible, I would´t let my parents down for nothing in the world.
Today I read an article about the way a TV show influences one´s expectations, and made me think about the time I got to Architecture School for the first time, and when I moved to a different city and then a show in Showtime started, Queer As Folk, the American/Canadian version, the english one I have to confess I found kind of dark and far from my life in San Diego, although by the time, I had been to Canal Street and Manchester´s gay village in several occasions. All friday nights they would play a new episode, I would love to see two of my closest friends, Marco, Raúl and sometimes Juan Carlos, and we would gather for pizza and salad in this really good place not far from my place, listening to great music and just letting ourselves turn twenty and a couple more while having fun, waiting for the midnight show that, according to mod reviews, was fun and witty, as it was kind of porn and disrupting, my kind of show of course, all those thing I was and I want to think I still am: fun, witty, porn and sometimes disrupting.
I guess the show, Queer As Folk, had the same effect in gay guys that Sex And The City had in girls… and gay guys; in a group of friends one would be the projection of a certain show character and so on, just like in SATC, I remember in one of my trips to New York City, my friend Marina told me that there were a legion of four-gals groups all over town, hanging out in restaurants, bars, clubs and stores acting up like Samantha, Carrie, Charlotte and Miranda, the old clever always-on-Perricone-diet sex addict, the smart undecided I-get´money-from-I-dunno-where shopoholic smoker, the fancy pants insecure prude and the I-secretely-like-to-scissor-other.girls over worked redhead, obviously always trying to keep their personalities… I hope. Well, the same happened with guys, in both cases, there was a Brian for a Samantha, a Ted for a Miranda, a Michael for a Carrie and a Lindsay for a Charlotte, you know well mannered and trying to get a family together before she´s too old; Emmett was another story and I´m for that, he was the cayenne pepper that spiced up the whole thing, or as we would say in spanish "el ajonjolí de todos los moles", meaning, the sesame seed of all the Moles (traditional mexican dish made with chocolate, dried ancho peppers and almonds, among other ingredients), if that makes any sense.
Well, there we were, four guys talking and trying to make sense of being single, only Marco had a committed relationship, the rest of the three were out in the market, feeling happy, but at the same time overwhelmed. I don´t think we were pretending to be ay of the QAF characters, even less the SATC characters, we certainly could have filled all profiles at some points, but in real life real people have more sides than just sex addict, confused, moralist and workaholic, or flamboyant, sometimes we were always all of them separated and in very special disastrous occasions all of them together. And at the end I was doing a friday thing with my friends and watching a show that was about friendship, about guys that likes guys, and girls hat liked girls, and everything around them. Never felt like any of the characters in either show, but loved them both and certainly made me enjoy fiction in TV.
I think TV shows and media in general have a very influential presence in teenagers, well, it did before, now it´s more like video games or manga, or I don´t know what else. But for me life still feels like a TV show, in times a Lifetime Channel tearful drama and some other times like a very funny sitcom. I´m now in the season where I move to Paris and start to have experiences, like stepping in shit every seven feet, tasting Mille Feille, and getting to see the Eiffel Tower and the Sacre Coeur on the daily basis, not so much going to Dior Homme or keep the days wearing the last from the runways, not there yet, I will let you know when I´m vintage YSL and Valentino head to toe.
At the end what comes to mind when thinking about being today where I am and being who I am, is the time when a very close friend was fired from the job he was so safe at, installed completely in the comfort zone being kind of afraid of the unknown, but forced to turnaround his life and surprised by the fact that he had an almost dream job offered afterwards in the place he always wanted, settling a nice pay after the firing and feeling happier and safer today; when all that happened I thought we all always have surprises in store, and either we look for them like easter eggs or are forced to have them smashed in our faces, I felt that everything is like a movie, the movie of life, when you need to shoot a part that feels uncomfortable but that will lead you to prizes and nominations, I remember I felt and still feel intoxicated by happiness of being able to accept what it comes, there are always beginnings and ends, change of setting and wardrobe, like Sunset Boulevard when the main character is lost in her mind and says "I´m ready for my close-up Mr. Demille…".
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