They say nothing beats the original, I think that applies in so many ways to the reason why we start doing things for us in the first place. Staying true to yourself is a draining endeavor nowadays, all these stimulation and different opinions making us doubt of our motives, making us question our purposes in life.
I wrote about friendship before, that is one true thing I appreciate the most, real friendship. After some years in the dark, some friends have reemerged at some points in time, some of them fade out to blacks in slow motion, almost frame by frame, so slow you are actually aware of what is going on and you stop and feel it, I realized that with some and even then I let it happened. At a point in my life reaching my big 3 0 I started to ask for all the shallow people to move away from the premises of my existence, at first I was hesitant, I would say it convinced but quietly, I got my petition stronger every time, till I actually demanded the unnecessary "friends" to just disappear instantly… And they did, a lot of people I thought to be family suddenly just weren´t there anymore and I thanked for that.
Today I am grateful because mirages of brothers and sisters have left, now friendship is even more valuable to me, life has taught me that I need to see beyond appearances, and sometimes what it seems like a real connection, it´s just a small coalition of souls saying hello on their way to wherever they may go, it is not a bad thing or a good thing, it is just the fortune we have to learn about us and about what we shall and shall not be or do.
Staying true to one´s self is hard but it is priceless to remember what we came to the world for or what we think it is our purpose in life. I know I´m here for the enjoyment of living, to learn through great positive surprises and hard awful recoveries, I have, at times, completely forgotten of who I am and when light strikes like a flipflop thrown by the universe in my face, like a "verdadero chanclaso", I have nothing else but to stop and regroup and start over if necessary… Fortunately that hasn´t been needed too often, only once or twice, I know I have the hability of reinventing myself, but I´m not Madonna and I have to stick to some members of my family… Luckily I mean… For me I mean… although for them as well, I can be a true sunshine when I put my heart to it.
I started a career and I knew it wasn´t my last one but I successfully finished it anyway, being true to myself is acknowledging that I´m a nerd and that I like good grades and feeling relax about the end of the semester, and end things after all; then as I finished I restarted the one would make the "spine" of my working days, and I love it. At some points I thought I was a communist trapped in the body of a almost 20 years old blondish gay guy that loved beautiful things; sometimes I thought I was a shallow little prick that was meant to be the bad in the story; Other times I thought I was crazy and that everything was caused by an error in the Matrix, now at the end I still walk my path sure of what I like and, although I´m all of the above, I´m also so many things more, and I´m still discovering more angles of me that I didn´t know I had.
All the friends that have left teached me a lesson because of their departure, I may have also detoured my route because of me wanting to walk along with them… Because it was so much fun and because it felt right at the moment. All the lessons learned are kept in the heart and mind and all of the ones that left make the ones that are still in my life even more precious, those that I run with, those that I travel with, those that I plan on biking with, all those that I cook veggie lasagna for (or any dish for that matter), those that I listen to music with, those that I dork with endlessly in person, by phone or chat… all those I feel so fortunate to have and when I set in my status that I´m "Grateful" it is in part because they are part of my existence in this planet.
In the road we are and we bump into each other for a short amount of time or for longer periods. For all the real friends, for all the not so real ones, for the casual acquaintances, for the family and the wonderful surprises I have had on the way I´m grateful, I do not regret stepping into anyone´s life and I certainly have loved every single lesson I had from anyone stepping into mine. From this very moment, in this very seat, under this very light, I have the certainty that I have no idea where I will be in a year from now, and I don´t care. What I know is that I will keep building up myself in all possible ways, trying to keep my mind clear and my wheel on track, I will have fun on the way, but I hope I am at the end of all in a year and forever happily surprised.
I wrote about friendship before, that is one true thing I appreciate the most, real friendship. After some years in the dark, some friends have reemerged at some points in time, some of them fade out to blacks in slow motion, almost frame by frame, so slow you are actually aware of what is going on and you stop and feel it, I realized that with some and even then I let it happened. At a point in my life reaching my big 3 0 I started to ask for all the shallow people to move away from the premises of my existence, at first I was hesitant, I would say it convinced but quietly, I got my petition stronger every time, till I actually demanded the unnecessary "friends" to just disappear instantly… And they did, a lot of people I thought to be family suddenly just weren´t there anymore and I thanked for that.
Today I am grateful because mirages of brothers and sisters have left, now friendship is even more valuable to me, life has taught me that I need to see beyond appearances, and sometimes what it seems like a real connection, it´s just a small coalition of souls saying hello on their way to wherever they may go, it is not a bad thing or a good thing, it is just the fortune we have to learn about us and about what we shall and shall not be or do.
Staying true to one´s self is hard but it is priceless to remember what we came to the world for or what we think it is our purpose in life. I know I´m here for the enjoyment of living, to learn through great positive surprises and hard awful recoveries, I have, at times, completely forgotten of who I am and when light strikes like a flipflop thrown by the universe in my face, like a "verdadero chanclaso", I have nothing else but to stop and regroup and start over if necessary… Fortunately that hasn´t been needed too often, only once or twice, I know I have the hability of reinventing myself, but I´m not Madonna and I have to stick to some members of my family… Luckily I mean… For me I mean… although for them as well, I can be a true sunshine when I put my heart to it.
I started a career and I knew it wasn´t my last one but I successfully finished it anyway, being true to myself is acknowledging that I´m a nerd and that I like good grades and feeling relax about the end of the semester, and end things after all; then as I finished I restarted the one would make the "spine" of my working days, and I love it. At some points I thought I was a communist trapped in the body of a almost 20 years old blondish gay guy that loved beautiful things; sometimes I thought I was a shallow little prick that was meant to be the bad in the story; Other times I thought I was crazy and that everything was caused by an error in the Matrix, now at the end I still walk my path sure of what I like and, although I´m all of the above, I´m also so many things more, and I´m still discovering more angles of me that I didn´t know I had.
All the friends that have left teached me a lesson because of their departure, I may have also detoured my route because of me wanting to walk along with them… Because it was so much fun and because it felt right at the moment. All the lessons learned are kept in the heart and mind and all of the ones that left make the ones that are still in my life even more precious, those that I run with, those that I travel with, those that I plan on biking with, all those that I cook veggie lasagna for (or any dish for that matter), those that I listen to music with, those that I dork with endlessly in person, by phone or chat… all those I feel so fortunate to have and when I set in my status that I´m "Grateful" it is in part because they are part of my existence in this planet.
In the road we are and we bump into each other for a short amount of time or for longer periods. For all the real friends, for all the not so real ones, for the casual acquaintances, for the family and the wonderful surprises I have had on the way I´m grateful, I do not regret stepping into anyone´s life and I certainly have loved every single lesson I had from anyone stepping into mine. From this very moment, in this very seat, under this very light, I have the certainty that I have no idea where I will be in a year from now, and I don´t care. What I know is that I will keep building up myself in all possible ways, trying to keep my mind clear and my wheel on track, I will have fun on the way, but I hope I am at the end of all in a year and forever happily surprised.
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